Let Them Take Risks

A couple weeks ago, I wrote the post “Let Them Get Dirty.”

As a follow-up to that, and to take it a step further, I would like to add “Let Them Take Risks.”

I watched children in Iceland climb trees, hop from rock to rock along the seashore, climb down into a lava cave, run up a mountain, and jump off a boulder. And this was all while at school!

I think we sometimes worry too much for our kids. We don’t want to see them get hurt (of course!). We don’t want to feel responsible if they do get hurt (of course!).

However, we are doing them a huge disservice! Kids need to learn for themselves how far over they can lean, before they lose their balance. They need to learn how far they can jump, how high they can climb, how fast they can run. This is how they learn agility, balance, dexterity, and grace.

We need to trust our kids: They don’t want to get hurt any more than we want them to! They do, though, want to run, jump, climb, and swing from the branches.

I hear your thoughts…

But Susan! But even if they don’t want to get hurt, and even if we don’t want them to get hurt, they might still get hurt!

You’re right. They might get hurt. They might get hurt falling out of a tree. They might also get hurt falling out of bed. We can’t protect them from ever having an accident, but I promise you this: The more they get to practice running and climbing and jumping and hanging, the better they will become at running and climbing and jumping and hanging. And they will take it in steps. It is a rare child who will climb all the way to the top on his very first time in a tree. He’ll climb a little further each time, though, as he gets used to it. The more you protect them, the more you put them in danger. The child I worry about most is the child who doesn’t have any practice at balancing and moving.

So let your kids take risks. At the park, let them walk along the top of the wall, and go up the slide and jump off the ladder and climb a tree. Let them try the monkey bars by themselves.  In your house, let them slide down the stairs or peel their own carrots. Let them jump from chair to couch, to avoid the hot lava. Let them try cartwheels. Let them use scissors. At the beach, let them jump off the sand dunes and try to outrun the waves. Let your kids run, even when the ground is rocky or uneven. Let them carry heavy things and Let them take risks.

Please, though, remember that every parent is different and every family has a different level of comfort with risk and risky play. You need to make sure that you only let your kids take risks that you feel match your parenting style, your family, and your children. Risky play can result in united consequences. Don't feel pressured to do something that feels scary to you. 

I’d like to show you a little story, in pictures, of what it can look like when kids take risks:

This is the playground at the preschool Kaldársel, near Reykjavik, Iceland. There is no swing set, no slide, no sandbox. There is also… no fence! The kids are given this boundary: Stay close enough that you can always see an adult. They are trusted not to wander away, and they (because no one wants to be lost!) don’t wander away.

This little girl wanted to cross the river in a spot that was just too big to leap. She finds a big plank and starts dragging it to the place she wants to cross. Notice that she is in rain boots. If she slips in, she will stay dry, but she will learn a lot about stability and footholds!

(Problem solving! Creativity! Engineering! Estimating distance!)

These boys, who are on the far side of the creek, help her get the plank to span the creek. They had to lean out to grab their end of the board, but they didn’t fall in. Notice that the boy in orange naturally gives himself a low center of gravity and a wide stance.

(Cooperation! More problem solving! Balance! Stability!)

The kids start using their new bridge to walk back and forth over the creek. They start out with tiny steps, and hold their arms wide for balance.

(Balancing! Assessing risk! Equilibrium! Taking turns!)

As they get braver, they start testing out how much they can get the bridge to bounce.

(Bravery! Being careful! Testing limits! Physics! Calculating risk!)

Some of the kids got very brave and used the flexibility of the board to help them leap from the middle of the bridge to the bank of the river. My heart was in my throat, but not a single kid missed the bank on the side of the stream. Perhaps their hearts were in their throats as well? Being daring is exciting!

(Testing their own limits! Learning their own skills and increasing their bravery! Building on previous skills! Dynamism! Balance! Joy!)

After a period of increasing daring and increasing confidence, the bounces got so big that the board snapped in two. The boy who happened to be on the plank at that moment deftly leaped onto the bank of the creek, with barely a splash on his feet.

So did the fun (and the learning) stop there? Of course not.

The kids quickly realized that what used to be a bridge was now a lever. With one end down in the water, and the middle of the board resting on the edge of the bank, that left the other end raised about a foot in the air. The kids quickly figured out that they could jump on to the land end of the board and that would make the water end of the board fly up, creating fantastic splashes.

(Engineering! Physics! Creativity! Exuberance!)

After playing with their new levers a bit, the boys on this side of the creek realized they wanted to get back to the other side of the creek, but now had no bridge…

So they found another board and used it to span the gap that was left when the first board broke. It was a little less stable, and a little narrower. However, they were veritable experts at balancing across the river by this point. They also knew that their teacher was nearby if they needed her.

(Problem solving! Team work! Estimating! Overcoming fears! Security!)

This hour of free play was amazing. The same 5 kids were engaged in the activity the entire time. The teachers stood by, but never interfered. They never suggested that the kids get this board or that board or walk around to a narrower place to cross. They never asked the kids to count their steps across or told them to estimate how high they were jumping. They never helped a child climb something (the teachers insist that the children learn to climb it themselves). They never suggested that a child start doing something or stop doing something. Most importantly, though, they never ever ever said “Be careful!” They just let the kids be. The kids, though, learned so much…. From confidence to improved balance to physics. I can’t think of a possible way to design a lesson for our kids that can teach them so much.


*Disclaimer: Don't take risks or allow your children to take risks that can result in injury. And don't blame me if you do. You need to be comfortable, on your own, for any play that you allow.