Let Them Get Dirty

I’m here to make a challenge to you today. I really hope you’ll do it. It might not be easy for some of you. It might make you uncomfortable. You may worry. You may hold back. Or only do it grudgingly. But, please. Try.

Let your children get dirty.

Take them to a stream or a pond, and let them wade in and get dirty. They can wear their shoes or feel mud squishing between their toes. They can collect tadpoles or toss rocks or cool off from the sun or even get blue lips from shivering with cold. They will love it all. Even the “yucky” parts.

Take them on a hike and let them pick up rocks and sticks and bugs and fallen leaves, let them climb a tree or a boulder and slide back down again.  They will find hiking sticks, and magic wands, and fairy castles, and secret worlds you can only see when you stop and really look for them. Let them find out what bugs live under the rocks, or how sticky a pinecone can be, or how much the shade feels different than the sun, and let them get dirty. (Please please please, though, don’t let them pick flowers or growing plants! Teach them to enjoy the beauty, but to leave natural habitats for other people and animals to enjoy.)

Get out the paints. Let them paint with paint brushes, or toothbrushes, or leaves, or their hands. Give them plenty of paper, or sidewalk space, or the backyard wall, and let them make amazing art, and scribbles, and family portraits, and layers and layers of paint until it all turns to the same color of brown, and let them get dirty. Let the paint drip and run and flow. Try not to flinch when it drips up their hands and arms. When they step right into the middle of the paint, laugh and then explore how they can make footprints, and let them get dirty.

Or get out pots and pans and the garden hose. Make mud pies and cupcakes and birthday cakes, and tell them how delicious it all is, and don’t worry when the mud creeps up their hands and arms and spills down those cute tummies and plops onto their feet. Let them learn what it feels like to have drippy wet mud flow through their fingers, and how much water you need to mold sand castles, and let them get dirty. 

Let them dig a hole. See if you can finally make it all the way to China. Dig with shovels and hands, cart the dirt away in buckets or pile it up next to the hole. Measure how deep the hole is by testing your child inside of it (can you dig up to your knees? Or waist?) Jump in the hole, jump off the pile of mud, and get dirty.

Plant some plants. Let your child dig the holes and put the plants in. If they want to dig with their hands, let them! Let them smooth out the hole or pat down the dirt. Let them water the plants, and let them spill some on themselves. You don’t need to help hold the watering can, or provide gloves, or send them away when their part is done and you do the messy parts. Let them get dirty!

I promise, your kids won’t stain. They wont shrink, or get stretched out, or in any other way be permanently damaged by being covered in mud, paint, dirt, dust, or even ice cream. (I make no promises about their clothes. Let them have play clothes that you won’t worry about, and then let them get dirty).

I also promise this: If you set up a situation for your kids, (by taking them on a hike or to a stream or by getting out the paints), your kids will get dirty. They are such inquisitive little minds, that all they CAN do is to explore. They might start out a bit intimidated (some kids I know), or they might jump in with two hands and two feet (some others I know). Either way, they will happily begin to explore the world that you show them, and they will eventually, if you don’t stop them, get dirty. They will first see what happens if they pour water onto dirt. Then, they might try stirring it with a stick. Pretty soon, only their hands can “really” get the mud to mix just right, and before you know it, they are covered head to toe in mud... if you let them get dirty.

Why should you let them get dirty? There are so many reasons.

1.     First, because all of that exploring won’t happen if they are having to be careful about staying clean. They won’t be able to see if their hole is up to their knees if they have to keep their knees and their shoes clean. They won’t learn nearly as much about bugs if they can’t pick them up. They won’t know what mud feels like in between their toes or fingers if their toes and fingers must be kept clean. They won’t get to watch red and orange and blue and green paint swirl together and make their handprints a new shade of brown if they are keeping their hands or their paintbrushes clean.

2.     Secondly, your kids will be forced to hold back if you insist they stay clean. Imagine if your child saw a tadpole in the stream, but didn’t scoop it up because she didn’t want to get her hands or cup or sleeves wet and dirty. She would miss out on so much: Learning to balance while leaning over to scoop water; learning about timing the trajectory of the tadpole and the speed of her own scooping; getting a chance to see a tadpole up close and watch it for an extended period of time; feeling how cold the water is; deciding for herself how far from the edge is too far; learning how walking in water is different than walking on land; learning how warm sunshine is better than anything else for stopping the shivers.

3.     Your child will learn so so much from getting dirty. They will learn science: physics in climbing a tree or sliding down a hill or jumping in a hole or climbing back out. They will learn math: proportions from mixing dirt and water, and colors of paint. They will learn to compare sizes and proportions. They will count and compare sizes and amounts of things. They will learn art from mixing paint colors and painting pictures that are bigger than they are. They will learn new vocabulary when they are forced to describe new sensations and discoveries. They will develop their imaginations when they play in new surroundings and with new materials. They will learn cause and effect, when they try new things that sometimes work and sometimes don’t work. When they fall off a rock, they learn how far is too far to lean over, and when they walk along a log, they learn to balance.  They will learn persistence and how to handle frustration and how to problem-solve. They will learn that in nature there are rarely one right and one wrong answer, and that it is okay to try many different approaches to surmounting an obstacle. They will be more willing to try, knowing that there isn’t a wrong way to climb a tree or make mud, or paint a picture. They will see that the world isn’t back and white, but there are infinite shades to everything. They will learn to try new things and take chances and come up with solutions to all kinds of problems and challenges. All of these things and facts and skills that they gain will flow over into all of the other parts of their lives.

4.     Your children will, over time, become more adventurous and more self-motivated. They will continue that feeling of getting more and more willing to explore their surroundings and they will learn to understand and assess risk. This is all great news! Who doesn’t want their child to grow up understand what risky behavior is, and how differentiate between taking chances and being risky?

5.     I’m no scientist, but plenty of studies have shown that it is biologically good for kids to play in dirt. It helps develop immune systems, and dirt contains bacteria that is good for your brain, because it helps encourage happiness and fight depression. Also, studies have shown that kids who play outside are happier than those who don’t, and have fewer problems with obesity and attention-deficit disorders. Like I said, I’m no scientist, but you can find plenty of articles by people who are. They explain it all much better than I can. Start with this article by the National Wildlife Foundation: http://www.nwf.org/What-We-Do/Kids-and-Nature/Why-Get-Kids-Outside/Dirt-is-Great.aspx

6.     Finally, kids are only kids for a while! Once you reach a certain age, you don’t get to play in the mud any more. Rather than heading out the the backyard to make mud pies, you end up spending money on mud treatments at spas. Let them be kids and enjoy some of those joys in life that they won’t get to experience once they get older.

Like I said, your kids are perfectly washable. I saw two moms recently letting their two-year-old sons splash in a giant puddle. One laughed and said “I’ll just strip him down to his diaper before I put him in the car.” I loved that. Her son will come clean (and enjoy another of life’s pleasures, a warm bath after a cold, fun afternoon of puddle splashing). He will be as good as new after getting cleaned up and toweled off. His clothes will probably be fine too, but I do suggest you let your children have some play clothes. If you are stressed about their adorable outfit, they will sense that and hold back on getting dirty. Save the cute stuff for special occasions, and let them be kids in kid-appropriate clothes the rest of the time. (Besides, they are going to outgrow it quickly anyway!) You wouldn’t buy your kids toys that will break or stain easily, or that they have to play with gently or just look at; why cover them in delicate or white or special clothing?

So, you have been challenged. Please let me know when you accept and meet my challenge. I want to hear about what you did to relinquish a bit of control. When did you let your child play in dirt or mud or paint or …? How did your child react? What did he learn? What did you learn?