Check it out!

Today I want to talk about something very dear to my heart… the public library. Not only do I have many many many memories from visiting the library as a child, my mother was a children’s librarian. It was definitely a big presence in our lives.

When I was growing up, the neighborhood public library was just around the corner and down a path through the park. My mom used to take my three brothers and I to the library quite often. My older brother and I would ride our bikes, my younger brother trailed behind on his Big Wheel, and my mom brought the baby in the seat on her bike. I remember the librarian watching through the big front windows, as my mom and younger brothers caught up to us and secured a bike lock. My speedy older brother and I were already inside, dropping books into the book return. The librarian thought my family was so cute. I didn’t think it was cute, it just seemed normal to me. (Looking back, I wonder if my mom was cute… or normal… or equipped with some sort of supernatural energy source. I have my suspicions).

We went to the library for scheduled story times. We went to the library to check out stacks and stacks of books. We went to participate in the summer reading program. We went to do research on the California missions and the life cycle of a frog and President Hoover. We often went just to pass an afternoon. I remember when I was old enough to get my own library card. As soon as I could write my own name, my mom said I was ready. I was so proud of my library card, that I had signed myself. It was truly a rite of passage in my family, when each of us was old enough and ready for our own library card. I had a wallet that had only one thing in it… that little orange laminated card. I remembered to bring it every time we went, so I could walk up to the counter independently, and check out my own books. I also remember setting a tent up in the back yard, and spending summer days laying there reading with a neighborhood friend. I loved returning my filled out summer reading card, telling the librarian which book was my favorite, and getting the sticker or pencil reward that I had earned. I met Curious Georoge, the Cat in the Hat, Ramona Quimby, and Nancy Drew all in the children’s corner of that little library.

When my own kids were small, I took them to the library all the time. We signed up for story times, and went regularly. My daughter used to set her stuffed animals up at home, put on an apron just like the librarian, and read stories and sing songs, pretending to run her own story time. We also checked out tons of books. The limit that I gave my kids was 25 picture books at a time (so I could have a consistent number and know how many we needed to return!) Someone else I know gave her sons each a tote bag. Their limit was however many books they could fit into their bag. Unlike any store you take your children to, you can say yes to anything in the library. It’s all free!

I love reading to my kids, and they love being read to. When my second child was born, my first would snuggle up to me whenever the baby needed to nurse; She was in charge of turning the pages, so I could read to her. We read before nap time, and we read again before bedtime. Sometimes I even sat and read stories while she was in the bath!

Reading to your children is one of the best ways you can help them learn to read, and really to help them learn to learn. Children who are read to develop a vocabulary that has thousands more words than those who aren’t read to. They learn how to hold a book, which way to turn pages, and they make the connection between the words on the page and the story they are hearing. They learn to make links between the story and real life. They learn to predict, to understand cause and effect, and to understand abstract concepts. All of these skills come into play in everything they need to learn in school, from reading, to writing, to science and math.

Reading to children is different than just talking or telling them stories. Books are often written in a different way than we speak. The vocabulary words, the sentence structure, and the concepts in books can be very different than spoken language. We could look at any single children’s book, to look at the ways it can help a child learn. Let’s take for an example the book A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon. It’s a story about a girl who loves lima beans but won’t eat them, because none of her friends do, and she prefers fitting in over lima beans. She wakes up one morning to discover that she her skin has become striped overnight. As people make suggestions about what is wrong with her, her skin turns checker-board patterned, then covered in bacteria swirls, etc. Finally, eating lima beans brings her back to normal. Not only is this a funny, creative story, not only does this story teach a great lesson, not only does this book let you talk about cause and effect, not only does it let you talk about plot and sequencing, it teaches a lot of vocabulary! There are many words in this book that, chances are, your child may never hear in every day conversations: lima beans, fretting, impress, relieved, ointment, distraction, contagious, multi-colored, swamped, prodded, virus, bacteria, fungus, bizarre. When a child hears these words in the context of a story, though, he or she is introduced to a new word and at the same time, provided with a context for it that can give the child a sense of the meaning. Consider this passage: “Dr. Gourd and Mr. Mellon were the finest scientific minds in the land. Once again, Camilla was poked and prodded, looked at and listened to. The Experts wrote down lots of numbers. Then they huddled together and whispered.” Although this isn’t the way we usually talk to our children, the sentences (including the words scientific minds, huddled, and prodded, the phrase “in the land”) will make sense to the children, within the context of the story, and when paired with the illustrations in the book.

Keep in mind, too, that once your children learn to read on their own, they aren’t done having you read to them! Children’s interest and ability to understand is usually leaps and bounds ahead of their ability to read. Even when they start to sound out basic words, they are going to be reading very basic vocabulary, but will be interested in far more complex stories and concepts. Continue reading to them for as long as they will let you! I still love to have my 10-year-old snuggle up on the couch and listen while I read. It is a great way to spend time together, and it also leads to fun conversations as we talk about the book or the concepts it brings up.

Back to the library: The more, different books you read to your children, the more they will absorb concepts, skills, and vocabulary. And at the library, you will find books you never knew existed, and you can check them out, and read them for free, which allows you to read far more books than if you were purchasing each one. The librarians at every library I have ever visited have been more than willing to help find or suggest books on any given topic or age level. They recommended lots of science books for my daughter, and plenty of action books for my son.

We have four libraries to choose from in our valley. Each of them offers story time programs for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and school-aged children. Visit their websites to find out the various schedules. As your children grow older, they offer homework help, help doing research, and book clubs for children (and adults!). Please take the time to visit our library. You’ll open all kinds of doors for you and your children.


Valencia Library
23743 W. Valencia Blvd.
Santa Clarita, CA 91355

Canyon Country Jo Anne Darcy Library
18601 Soledad Canyon Rd.
Santa Clarita, CA 91351

Old Town Newhall Library
24500 Main St.
Santa Clarita, CA 91321

Stevenson Ranch Library
25950 The Old Road
Stevenson Ranch, CA 91381

Pencil me in...

Valentine’s Day is less than two weeks away! Do you have plans?

If not, don’t worry about it. But do worry about your dating life.

Just a little bit.

You need to make sure you are still enjoying time with your spouse, and with no kids around, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You really do.

A couple days after I wrote the last post about having your kids put their electronic devices down, I ran into a friend. She admitted that she is guilty of letting her kids play on her phone in restaurants, because she feels like that is the only way she can have an uninterrupted conversation with her husband.

I get that! Boy, do I ever get that.

It is so hard to take a thought from point A to point B when you are interrupted by the kids. It’s hard enough to get through a simple conversation like “What movie should we rent?” Let alone the kinds of BIG and IMPORTANT conversations we all need to have sometimes. Remember the things you used to talk about? Before you were married? Before kids? When was the last time you got to talk about your dreams or goals? Your hopes? Your philosophy? Your job? Your feelings?

It is so important to take time to be an adult. It is important so you can have these conversations. It is important so you can do grown-up things (like eat in a restaurant that doesn’t bring crayons to the table, or watch a movie that isn’t about Elsa and Anna, or wander a museum, or take a cooking/painting/winetasting/pottery class). It is important to your sense of self, just to have an hour or two where no one spits up on you, you don’t have to change a diaper, and you aren’t washing anyone’s hands or face. It is important that you put on nice clothes and know that they will stay nice, for at least a little while. It is important that you feel good about who you are, as a person. It is important so you maintain interests and skills and a sense of self. (Someday your parenting will stop being a full-time task, and what will you do with your extra time?) It is important so you don’t forget that your spouse is a person, and not just your parenting co-worker.

If you can, schedule a babysitter, and get out of the house. You need a change of scenery, and you need to be able to walk away from the laundry piles and forget them for a little while. At one point I realized that paying a babysitter for the amount of time it takes to go out for dinner, costs no more than paying for two or three extra kids' meals at a restaurant. My kids would rather stay home and eat frozen pizza while their favorite high schooler plays games with them, than go sit in a restaurant anyway. (Plus, only my husband and I get votes on the choice of restaurant this way, and we go to much more exciting restaurants without them).

Try something new! Experience a new ethnic restaurant you’ve never tasted before. Go to a play or a musical, or a pro soccer game. Or check out the sunset views from The Getty gardens. Sign up for a painting/wine night at Pinot’s Palette.

It doesn’t have to be expensive to go out on dates. If you’re so lucky as to have weekdays off, go to breakfast while the kids are at school, and skip the babysitter fees.  If you have to do weekends (like my husband and I), a movie and dinner might start to become too expensive. Go out to dinner and bring a movie back form Redbox (the kids will be asleep by movie time anyway!). Or eat dinner at home and just go out for desert. A friend of mine and her husband have a tradition left over from their lean college years, where they challenge themselves to go out for $10 or less. They might get two burgers, split some fries, and drink water, but they enjoy the challenge and they really enjoy the time together. 

You can do free things, too! Take a walk on a beach. Browse a bookstore together. Go stargazing at Griffith Observatory. Find your favorite star on Hollywood’s walk of fame.

Even if you can’t get a babysitter, you can still have a date. Some nights, my husband I will get all the kids to bed, and then cook dinner together. We have also been known to go pick up dinner, and have a little picnic on the living room floor and watch a movie together.

What’s really important is that you and your partner remain partners in every sense of the word. You are partners in the parenting role, of course. Take time to make sure you are on the same page. You are partners in the role of just being companions to each other, too. Don’t forget to focus on your partner. Be a support for him or her. Show interest in what he or she wants to do or say. That person you chose to spend your life with? He’s still the same guy. He’s just as interesting and fun and amazing as he was when you met. She’s still the same girl. She’s just as caring and thoughtful and interesting as she was when you met. Don’t forget that.

Take your partner out on a date. She deserves it. He needs it. And so do you.

And if it’s not on Valentine’s Day, that’s okay! No one wants to fight the crowds and pay for special menus anyway. Just make sure that your Valentine knows how important you think they are, and do it soon.